reality 3.0

the heart has reasons reason does not understand. this sucks you know, not having you around. sometimes it's quite difficult and i feel like bursting, as if i want to rip myself apart into a million pieces so i can be everywhere. but then there is a light that never goes out, staring at you to make sure you keep on track. as you flip the corner, there it is: just what you need. that thrill on the back of your spine that makes you keep going. something so strong that makes you want to change, makes you wish again. you fall in the world of dreams which you thought you'd lost a long time ago. it keeps you awake at night. although it all happens inside your head it makes you get the strength to apprehend everything again, the words gain sense. that is just how powerful the human mind can be, do you know the feeling?

in this case, it's you, it's all about you. you know, i have always looked at you differently because in a way you are different, i think. you have always been this charming man that pulls me to him, even without trying or noticing. there's just something about you. some kind of magnet that attracts me to you. the look on your eyes, the way you walk. it always makes me wonder. you're a mystery to me.

last night i couldn't sleep thinking about you. how much i want to know you. i pictured how it would be to have you, to be yours. we would have our own universe distinguishing us. it would only be ours', unique. i imagined us: me hearing you exhale on the back of my ear, feeling your touch as your fingers walk slowly through the notches in my spine. you, in a crescendo, as i lay my skin on yours, your heart screaming to get out, while i slowly kiss you down the neck and push your bones against mine. i can feel you close to me, as you get harder and harder. rapidly, we reach out infinite pleasure in some kind of climax, you in me. then we both recover our breath as we fall asleep in each others' arms. i also thought about how much i'd like to have the guts to walk towards you and say: you know, this may sound creepy, but a few nights ago i dreamed of you. it was really intense, i could probably say that it was the highlight of my week. Some hours later, after a vortex of thoughts and feelings way beyond reality, between all the tremors, chills and sweats, outside, the sun was rising, claiming to be a new day. as far as i was concerned it was still the same one.

it didn't took long to see you again, by that time when our eyes crossed, it wasn't as usual. i instantly felt a wish for last night to become true, an urgent desire to freeze that moment so i could proceed staring at you, as if you were irretrievably mine. in a second, it all vanished but i could hear myself breathing faster. isn't it real, the fact that, last night i was wishing to have you by my side, that i had this huge thirst for you?

fuck, i must be loosing it.