oh lord
you keep preaching about
unity
and
when I look around
all I can see is disintegration.

and I want to keep believing you.
real evidence isn’t
a necessary truth.
but it is some kind of truth,
I just keep hoping it’s not mine.

and now,
I’m fighting through this so called possibility
that is now reality.
and I turn myself around and around
looking for a way out,
but you know what?
you are lying to me
and I purposely believe.
in wish.

inside,
I do know,
there is no way out,
at least not an ideal one.

and proceeding a normal life,
as a result of everything that you take for average,
(I hate average,
although I recognize its necessity)
it does not work,
not always,
not ever.

‘cause normal
does not mean stable,
does not mean better.
it requires numbness
but I’m not high enough for it.
I’m too alive.

and well,
unity
is just an illusory mystery
that your invented lord created
inside your fucked up mind
to keep you going,
believing in some kind of infinity,
when nothing has actually
ever started.

not without the promise
that it will
end.